


every apple core

by sharkfish



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Asexual Character, Asexual Dean Winchester, Clones, Clones to Lovers, Cuddling & Snuggling, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-06 05:54:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17339783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharkfish/pseuds/sharkfish
Summary: Alec hesitates before he takes the wallet, like it might shock him. He opens it, and there’s a driver’s license right there. It’s not him — it’s an older him. Dean Winchester, born 1/24/79.Alec’s says Alec Ramsay, 10/1/91.





	1. WHAT MAKES YOU LONELY

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WingsandImpalas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WingsandImpalas/gifts).



> loosely based on a prompt from [wingsandimpalas](http://wingsandimpalas.tumblr.com), with help from [jemariel](http://jemariel.tumblr.com), [suckerfordeansfreckles](http://suckerfordeansfreckles.tumblr.com), [robotsnchicks](http://robotsnchicks.tumblr.com). 
> 
> the third chapter is a lie because it's very short.

Alec’s in a liquor store on the wrong side of town. 

A different side, anyway, not one where people yell at each other in the streets, where he brings comic books to the kids that live in the projects a couple blocks from where he parks his car. He was them once — or still is — and the guy at the comic store always gives Alec a discount because he bought weed from him once. 

The woman behind the counter looks like Jane Lynch and lights up to see him. “There you are! You forgot your wallet!” 

Alec turns to look over his shoulder. He’s the only customer. “Uh…” 

Jane pulls out a wallet from under the counter, unassuming worn leather. “I only maxed out one of your cards,” she says with a wink. 

Alec hesitates before he takes the wallet, like it might shock him. He opens it, and there’s a driver’s license right there. It’s not him — it’s an older him. Dean Winchester, born 1/24/79. 

Alec’s says Alec Ramsay, 10/1/91. 

“Thanks,” Alec says, his own voice sounding far away. “See you later.” 

 

Siri gets Alec to the house on Singletree Lane where Dean Winchester lives. There’s a car in the driveway, but the lights are all out. And Alec knows what an empty house feels like, the loneliness of it. 

This is the wrong side of town, because when Alec sneaks through the gate, he finds the back door is unlocked. “Fucking stupid,” he mutters, sliding the door shut behind him. 

He turns the flashlight on his phone to sweep the room. There’s a room immediately to his left with two huge desks full of computer equipment.  A cat blinks sleepily at him from the couch. There’s honest-to-god art on the wall of the living room:  _ Europa: Discover Life Under the Ice; Experience the Mighty Auroras of Jupiter; Earth: Your Oasis in Space.  _

Alec heads down the hall, shining his phone into a tidy bathroom, a guest room with classic rock posters on the walls. 

The master bedroom is lived in. The bed is rumpled, there’s a shirt on the floor that missed the hamper. Two toothbrushes and a pair of glasses on the bathroom counter. The towels are soft and mismatched. 

The same back door Alec came through squeaks open, followed by the thump of footsteps. 

“Goddammit, Cas,” a guy — must be Dean — says. “I’m too goddamn tired to get into this right now. We can argue about it tomorrow.” 

“Acceptable,” another voice says, and Alec is surprised it’s a man. He’d assumed  _ Cas  _ was Dean Winchester’s wife. “But we  _ will  _ talk about this.” 

“Fine. Take me to bed, Mr. Winchester.” 

They head down the hall, and it was really stupid of Alec to trap himself in the bedroom. He slips into the closet, gently eases the door most of the way closed. 

The cat runs in first, and then two men, one of them with Alec’s face. Shirts come off — this Cas guy is in stupidly good shape, and Dean doesn’t have nearly as many scars as Alec does — but Dean grabs Cas’s arm before they get any further. 

“Hey,” Dean says, softly. “I love you.” 

Cas rolls his eyes and says, “I love you too.” 

Alec’s not sure what to think about Dean being gay. He doesn’t care, exactly, but all the cruel shit people have said when they find out about Alec still rattles around in his skull. He hopes Dean’s had a better life than he has, he hopes Cas is good to him. 

Cas disappears into the bathroom and Dean kicks off his jeans, then pauses, half-bent to grab them off the floor. He tilts his head to the side and squints at the closet door Alec is hiding behind, holding his breath. 

The cat rubs against Dean’s shin and he frowns. 

It’s three strides from him and the closet, but it’s plenty of time for Alec to pull out and flip open his knife. It seems like it’s too loud, but he’s already been caught. 

Dean sees the knife before he sees Alec’s face. Alec’s quick, smart, good in a fight, knows how to take a hit — but it doesn’t even take a struggle for Dean to disarm him. 

“Great,” Dean mutters, scowling at Alec. “Cas, get in here!” 

Cas comes back into the bedroom, nude except for black-framed glasses. “Oh,” he says, surprised, but not  _ that  _ surprised, considering. 

Dean groans and rubs his face. “Baby, I’m so fucking tired. Handle this.” 

“It’s a clone thing,” Cas says. “You should come back tomorrow and we’ll talk more.” 

“A  _ what  _ thing?” 

“Surprise,” Dean says, setting Alec’s closed knife on the bedside table and collapsing into the blankets. “You’re a clone. Fuck off, I’ll be nicer in the morning when you haven’t just tried to stab me.” 

“Goodbye,” Cas says pointedly. 

Alec’s shell-shocked enough that he does walk out of the house. It was one thing to see the driver’s license, the cat, the way love has sunk into every inch of this house, but another to see his own face from the outside. 

His face, except older, able to grow in a nice even scruff over his cheeks and jaw, hair shorter. His face, except in a  _ home  _ instead of a dingy cave of an affordable housing apartment when you're lucky enough to get one. 

Alec goes to a different liquor store, then sits in his car outside the house until after sunrise. 

 

Alec sits up straight when Dean walks down the driveway barefoot as the day starts to warm up. 

“You been out here all night?” Dean says when Alec steps out of the car, but he doesn’t wait for Alec to confirm. “Come inside. We’re making breakfast.” 

Alec follows Dean back into the house silently. Even before they walk in the door, Alec can smell bacon frying. Cas is at the stove, humming along to low-volume classic rock. 

Cas turns and gives Alec a small smile. “Good morning. How do you like your eggs?” 

“Why the fuck are neither of you freaking out?” 

“You’re the first one who’s found  _ us,”  _ Cas says, “but we know a handful of others.” 

“Other… clones?” 

“Yup,” Dean says. “If you don’t tell me now, you’re getting over easy.” 

“Uh, whatever.” 

“Coffee?” 

Alec’s mouth twists. “Jesus, no.” 

“Do you have an aversion to bitter?” Cas says. “That’s interesting. Let me get my phone.” 

“He takes a lot of notes,” Dean says. “We haven’t found clone zero yet. The oldest one we’ve met is 46. How old are you?” 

“28.” 

“Jensen’s the youngest. 24. There’s nine others we know about,” Dean says, flipping the eggs with ease. “You’re the first one who broke into my house, though. How’d you find me?” 

“You left your wallet at the liquor store. I needed whiskey.” 

“What’s your full name and date of birth?” Cas says, typing away on his phone. 

“Hold the fuck up,” Alec says. “You’re going to tell me what the  _ fuck  _ is going on before I answer any questions.” 

Dean splits the eggs between three separate plates, and Cas starts to talk. 

 

Name: Alec Ramsay

Birthdate: October 1, 1991

Gender: Male 

Height: 1.83m

Weight: 80kg

Raised: Lubbock, TX 

Current Address: N/A

Education: Some high school

Occupation: N/A

Salary: N/A

Medical History: Unknown

Sexuality: Undisclosed

Drug Use: Undisclosed

Alcohol Use: Occasionally 

Tobacco Use: Rarely (cigarettes) 

Notes: Raised in foster care, no knowledge of “birth” parents. Shares more of Dean’s mannerisms than the others. Did not consent to physical examination or testing. 

 

The interrogations go through lunch, but sometime early evening Alec has to surrender and admit he no longer has any idea what Cas’s science talk means. Cas frowns, but Dean laughs and leans over to kiss his cheek. 

“C’mon, baby,” Dean says. “Us lay-people can only stick with you for so long.” 

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s all interesting,” Alec says, not sure why he feels like he needs to spare Cas’s feelings. “But I’m a high school drop-out, so…” 

“Me too,” Dean says with a grin. 

Cas glances over at Dean, they have some sort of silent exchange, and Cas says, “Are you living in your car?” 

“What? No,” Alec says. 

“You look  _ exactly  _ like Dean when you lie,” Cas says. 

“We’re not really in the habit of pickin’ up strays,” Dean says, “but we’ve got a guest room you could stay in.”

It’s on the tip of his tongue to say no, but the knots in Alec’s back seem to multiply like rabbits every night he fights for a comfortable position in a goddamn ‘98 Camry. Pride is a boulder to swallow. “Ok,” he says. “Sure.” 

 

Dean and Cas have the kind of tv that’s so clear, everything looks fake. They tease each other in the same way they’ve probably done every night since they met, and despite his grumbling, Dean seems pleased that Alec chooses Cas’s documentary over Dean’s movie that’s probably full of explosions. Not really Alec’s style. 

They all have a couple drinks and smoke a couple of bowls — Alec is surprised when the pipe comes out — and before the end of the evening, Dean is laid out across Cas’s lap with Cas petting his hair. It hurts, and Alec forces himself to focus on the screen to keep from staring. He’s never even imagined someone touching him that way, so easily and affectionately, but now the sight of himself with a partner is seared into his brain. 

“Are you all right?” Cas asks, squinting at Alec. Dean sits up on his elbow and looks over at Alec, too. 

“Oh, yeah,” Alec says. 

Dean gives him a slightly loopy smile. Somehow, he’s the most intoxicated out of the three. “You’re either homophobic or you need a cuddle.” 

“I’m not homophobic,” Alec says, rolling his eyes. “And I don’t need a cuddle.” 

“Get over here, you big baby,” Dean says, sitting up to make room for Alec between him and Cas. 

“Nah, I’m good.” 

“Touch is integral to human well-being,” Cas says, still wearing the full squint. 

Dean winks at Alec, like they’re humoring Cas together. Alec has the startling realization that he might be very attractive when he’s older, which must be what powers his movement over to the couch. He sits what seems like a reasonable distance between them, not actually touching, but then Cas reaches for him and he finds himself buried in Cas’s arms. 

Cas’s t-shirt is even softer than it looks, and he’s warm and smells good and Alec realizes that maybe he has been missing something important. 

“You’re such a dork,” Dean says, presumably to Cas. 

Cas rubs up and down Alec’s back with one hand, the other stroking through his hair. Cas is solid, strong, feels good to be close to. 

“See?” Cas murmurs. “Touch is good for you.” 

“I thought you were a genetics dude, not a psychology dude,” Alec says, muffled against Cas’s shoulder. 

“He’s a lot of dudes,” Dean says. He scoots closer, and then he’s draped over Alec too, nuzzling into his hair. 

This should feel weird, but maybe nothing’s weird in the face of being one of at least ten clones, so Alec just lets himself be close and comforted. 

 

Alec shouldn’t be spying on his hosts, but he pauses to hear snatches of their conversation between the bathroom and the spare bedroom they’ve offered him. Dean and Cas’s bedroom door is cracked open for the cat — her name is Weetzie — and they aren’t even keeping their voices especially low. 

“He’s so much like you,” Cas says. 

“Except I was a huge dick when I was his age.” 

“Well, you were repressed.” 

“Whatever,” Dean says, laughing. “You want to fuck him, don’t you?” 

“You don’t have to ask every time.” 

“Except you really do this time. You said he’s just like me, and you want to fuck  _ me.”  _

Alec stops breathing. On the other side of the door, Cas sighs loud enough for him to hear it. “Sweetheart.” 

“Maybe he’d be into it.” 

“Go to sleep.” 

“Love you, baby.” 

“You too.” 

The light goes off. Alec stands in the hallway for even longer than he should, wishing.

 

Alec wakes up when the door to the spare bedroom creaks open, and he opens his eyes to see a redhead peering in at him with a grin. 

“Hey,” she says. “I’m Charlie, the resident computer genius of the clone club.” 

Alec sits up and fumbles for his shirt. “Alec.” He’s not sure what the protocol is in this situation, but he stands up to shake Charlie’s hand anyway. 

“I brought tacos. Better claim some before Dean stuffs them in his little chipmunk cheeks.” 

In the kitchen, Dean has three tacos open in front of him, pouring salsa verde on each, and he gives Alec a smile. “Hey, man. You sleep ok?” 

“It was good, thanks,” Alec says, and Cas gives his shoulder a squeeze before passing over tacos.

“You’re really not going to let Cas take blood?” Charlie says, her mouth mostly full of tortilla and egg. 

Dean and Cas both frown at her. “He doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to,” Dean says. 

“But we could make cool graphs.” 

“You’re such a fucking nerd,” Dean says to Charlie, then flashes a grin Alec’s way. 

“Whatever. I’m narrowing in on another one, I think. Toronto.” 

“Jesus Christ,” Dean says. “Me and Alec are skipping this shit today. I need a mental health day.” 

Cas snorts. “You’re ruining the sanctity of mental health days, but go hang out with Alec.” 

 

Dean wants to go for a drive. Alec momentarily wonders if he’s going to get murdered out in the country, but when he gets a good look at Dean’s car, he decides it’s worth it. Dean talks about the car as they hit the highway and Alec thinks he responds appropriately, but he’s mostly just looking at Dean. 

Dean’s scruff is grown in enough to almost be a beard, while Alec doesn’t get much more than patchy stubble. He’s more angular, sharper, but there’s a softness in the wrinkles around his eyes when he smiles. Shoulders broader, hands more calloused. 

Alec knows people think he’s attractive. He knows how to duck his head and flutter his eyelashes, knows how to get what he wants from a certain type of person. But he’s never been comfortable in himself the way Dean is, pretenses dropped. 

“You’re staring,” Dean says, mouth quirking into a smile, and Alec jerks his gaze away to look out the window instead. “It’s cool. It’s a fucking trip the first couple of times.” 

“Yeah, for sure,” Alec says. And then, watching Dean smile and hum along to the radio, “I heard you and Cas last night. Talking about fucking me.”

The car swerves, but luckily there’s no one on the road. 

“Shit. Look, I’m an asshole, but dude — I’m ace. I was just making fun of Cas.” 

“You’re — what?” 

“Asexual. “

“Like a mushroom?” 

“Jesus Christ,” Dean says, scowling at Alec. “No, like a  _ person  _ who isn’t interested in sex.” 

“But you married Cas.” 

“Seriously? It’s not that complicated. Relationships don’t require sex.” 

Alec flushes and looks away. “I didn’t know that was a thing, I guess.” 

“Don’t be an asshole about it.” 

“I’m not! I’m not. I just — is Cas that, too? Ace?” 

Dean rolls his eyes. “I’m only letting you say this shit because you heard me being gross about you.” 

“I mean,” Alec says, scratching a nail on his jeans. “I’ve done worse than Cas.” 

“There’s no one  _ better  _ than Cas,” Dean says, knuckles white around the steering wheel. 

“Look. I just want to know what I owe you. A fuck? A handjob? What does he want.” 

Dean flips the turn signal and slams the brakes to pull onto a country side road. He’s out of the car as soon as it’s in park, stomping towards the trunk and then out of sight. 

Alec waits for a few seconds, thinking Dean is going to reappear, then opens the door slowly and steps out onto a dirt road. Dean is sitting on the ground against the back fender, head in his hands. 

“Hey, uh,” Alec says, then has no idea what to say. 

“Cas said you were like me,” Dean says with a hollow laugh. “And you pull out this  _ owing  _ shit, like no one has ever been nice to you in your whole goddamn life.” 

Alec rubs his shoe in the dirt. 

“You’re  _ just _ like me, Alec. That’s so fucked up.” 

“Sorry.” 

Dean hauls himself back standing by the bumper. One of his knees cracks and he stumbles, but when Alec reaches out to steady him, Dean grabs his arm and pulls him into a hug instead. “Alec,” Dean says against his temple. “Sometimes people help each other just because they can.” 

Alec closes his eyes and takes a shaky breath. This is the wrong time to cry, on the side of the road in the arms of some stranger with the same DNA, and he’s good at hiding his emotions. “Yeah,” he says, forcing a laugh. “Sure.” 

“You can stay as long as you need,” Dean says. “We’ll figure it out.” 

 

When they make it back to the house, Charlie’s gone so it’s just Cas on the couch with a laptop, ankles crossed on the coffee table. “Hello,” he says, giving both Dean and Alec a smile. “How was the drive?” 

“Beast of a car,” Alec says. 

“He let me drive it once,” Cas says, his smile widening. “Maybe he’ll let you sometime in the next decade.” 

Dean bends down to give Cas a quick kiss before heading to the kitchen. Alec stands awkwardly, hands in his pockets, not looking at Cas. 

Dean comes back in and hands Alec a Dr. Pepper, nudging him towards the couch. “Sit down, doofus.” 

Alec sits on Cas’s left, because Weetzie is on his right and Alec doesn’t want to face a cat’s wrath, but Dean picks her up and plonks her in Alec’s lap anyway. 

“Alec’s staying for awhile,” Dean says. “My little brother, if anyone asks.” 

“No one’s going to ask,” Cas says. He squeezes Alec’s knee and Weetzie purrs. “I’m glad to hear it. Dean can fatten you up.” 

“I don’t really have a job right now,” Alec says. “I’ll — I’ll find something.” 

“Something legal,” Dean says. “We have enough problems without you getting arrested.” 

Alec nods. Cas sets his computer aside and hugs Alec, leaving a quick kiss on his forehead when he pulls away. “We should unload your car.” 


	2. CAN'T CLONE OR DISOWN

Alec does his best not to be a burden to Dean and Cas. He tries to stay quiet, clean, out of the way. It’s been a hell of a long time since Alec really cared about disappointing people, but he doesn’t want to disappoint them. 

Alec lets himself in the house after work and Dean’s straddled across Cas’s lap, making out with Cas’s hands underneath Dean’s shirt on his flank. They break away to say hello, and Alec gives them an awkward wave before rushing down the hallway, blushing. 

He doesn’t venture out until he can hear them laughing, but he finds them laid out on the couch, kiss-flushed. Alec is determined not to look and see if the outline of Cas’s cock is showing in his jeans. It looked like a really good kiss, the kind Alec wants to follow to bed and through the night. 

“Hey,” Dean says, grinning from where he’s half-draped over Cas. “How was work?” 

Alec shrugs. “It was work. You?” 

Cas squirms out from under Dean’s arm. “Dean made lasagna, I’ll get you some.” 

Alec protests, but Cas ignores it, giving Alec a quick squeeze around the middle as he passes by. “You gonna hang out?” Dean says, sitting up and gesturing vaguely at the other end of the couch. 

Alec sits, and Dean half-smiles. “Do you hate living here?” 

_ Living  _ here, not  _ staying  _ here. “No, of course not, you’ve been —” 

Cas comes back in with a plate of lasagna and a beer, sits between the two of them while the loveseat is empty. “He’s depressed because he thinks you don’t like him.” 

“I’m not  _ depressed,”  _ Dean says, petulant. 

“I like you. Both of you.” 

Dean flushes and Cas smiles. “You don’t have to hide in your room.” 

“Yeah, well,” Alec says. “Who needs some charity case in their hair all the time?” 

Alec read once about long term partners mirroring each other, and Dean and Cas are wearing twin frowns. “Look —” Dean starts, but Cas interrupts him. “We were concerned about the consequences of having another one not only in the same city but the same house. Apparently I overestimated how observant the general public is.” 

“I’m glad you’re here,” Dean says. “For what it’s worth.” 

“The general public are idiots,” Alec says. 

“Amen,” Dean says with a grin. “Eat that before it gets cold.” 

 

Alec is on his feet before he realizes he’s awake. Dean’s scream cuts off, and it’s been so long since Alec’s heart pounded with fear that he’s momentarily disoriented. 

He rushes to Cas and Dean’s room. Weetzie sprints out right as Alec comes in. The lamp’s already pulled, the room in soft yellow light, both of them sitting up with Dean slumped against Cas’s chest. 

“You’re ok,” Cas murmurs, hugging Dean tight. 

Alec wishes he could just back out without being noticed, but both Dean and Cas look over to him. “Hey, uh, everything ok?” Alec says. 

“Yeah,” Dean says with a tired smile. 

“Do you need a cuddle?” 

“I’m not putting on clothes,” Dean says, and pulls back the comforter to make room for Alec. 

Alec absolutely doesn’t look at Dean and Cas revealed. Or at least he doesn’t look much. 

“It’s a perk of marriage,” Dean says. “No pants required.” 

Alec laughs and climbs into bed next to him like he’s being drawn on a wire. Dean turns to tuck under Alec’s chin, and there’s only a moment of hesitation before Alec wraps his arms around him. He doesn’t remember the last time he felt bare skin under his palms.

Cas pulls the lamp and presses against Dean’s back. “This is good,” Dean says, nuzzling into Alec’s neck. “And you smell good.” 

“Thanks,” Alec says, unable to stop thinking about all along his arm and the back of his hand where he can feel the warmth of Cas’s chest. This is the wrong time to slip into fantasy. 

“It was just a nightmare,” Dean says. “I’m fine.” 

“I have them too sometimes,” Alec says, though he’s not sure where the words come from. 

Dean tilts his head to leave a soft kiss just under Alec’s jaw. “I know.” 

 

It’s an accident that Alec keeps ending up in their bed. There’s this quirk of an eyebrow from Cas or a shy smile from Dean and next thing Alec knows, he’s warm and surrounded by aimless touches. 

One morning Dean kisses him. Just a quick morning kiss as he rolls out of bed half-asleep, like there’s nothing monumental about it. Alec stares at his bare ass and Cas yawns. “He doesn’t know what he’s doing pre-coffee.” 

“Yeah,” Alec says, even though Dean has never accidentally-pre-coffee kissed him before. 

“Good morning, by the way,” Cas says, and he bumps his nose against Alec’s temple on his way out of bed. 

Dean’s fidgeting at the coffee maker when Alec heads to the kitchen after a shower. “I’m sorry,” Dean says. “I shouldn’t have done that.” 

“Is Cas pissed?” 

“Why would Cas be pissed?” 

“Because I’m not him.” 

“It’s  _ you _ . He’s not pissed.” 

“But if it was someone else?” 

Dean shrugs and gives Alec a crooked smile. “He’d get over it eventually.” 

Alec nods and reaches over Dean for a glass. Dean could move, but he doesn’t, just lets Alec lean in to him. Dean says, “Are you pissed?” 

“No,” Alec says, and then, bravely, “I haven’t been kissed in a long time.” 

“Well,” Dean says. Alec doesn’t miss when he glances at Alec’s mouth. “I can help with that.” 

“Oh,” Alec says. 

He and Dean stare at each other for a long moment, then Dean half-shuffles closer, cradles Alec’s jaw in his palm, and kisses him. A  _ good morning beautiful, how was your night  _ kiss. 

“Better?” Dean says, so close still that Alec can’t see the smile in his voice. 

Cas comes into the kitchen, quiet with bare feet and wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants Alec has seen on both of them. Alec jerks away from Dean, knocking the glass on the floor to shatter. 

“Fuck. Don’t move,” Alec says, because he’s the only one in shoes. No one says anything while he sweeps up the kitchen, trying to catch even the tiniest of shards. 

“I’m just jealous that I’m kiss-less,” Cas says. 

Dean laughs and goes to him, plants a huge kiss on the corner of his mouth. “Morning, baby.” 

Cas laughs along and then quirks an eyebrow at Alec and someday he could get in a lot of trouble doing whatever Cas wants. He touches Cas’s jaw the same way Dean did to him, and then has a third good morning kiss, soft and smiling. 

Alec’s never been kissed for no reason other than affection, when he’ll be on the way to work in a few minutes and no one’s getting a blowjob out of it. 

“Have some breakfast before you’re late,” Cas says, smiling and gorgeous in golden rays from the skylight. 

Alec stops waiting for an invitation. Even after a late shift, he’ll sneak into their bed, still damp from a shower, and there are always open arms waiting for him. 

 

Alec wakes up to Cas’s hand tucked just barely under Alec’s sweatpants, leaving sleepy kisses across his shoulder over his shirt. He can feel Cas hard against his ass. 

“Cas,” Alec says. He wants to pull away, but he’s trapped by Dean at his front, arm draped over him and Cas. “Cas, wake up.” 

“Fuck off,” Dean groans, squeezing Alec tighter. “It’s Sunday. Sleep in.” 

Cas startles fully awake and pulls away. “I’m sorry.” 

“For what?” Dean says. 

“Humping me in his sleep, probably.” 

Dean laughs and smacks Cas on the shoulder. “He does that sometimes. He’s like a dog.” 

Cas must be really flustered, because the best response he comes up with is, “Shut up.” 

“It’s cool,” Alec says. “I’m pretty attractive.” 

“I can’t respond to that without getting myself in trouble.” 

Sleeping until afternoon on a day off is great, but so is sleep-hoarse teasing, the blankets rumpled around them, and it’s better by far when Dean kisses him. It’s not the quick peck they’ve started to share every now and then, but soft and full, Dean’s fingers sliding into his hair. 

“Are you ace too?” Dean murmurs against Alec’s lips. 

“No.” 

“Ok.” 

Alec must be dreaming, because he’s making out with a gorgeous guy, sweetly, with that guy’s gorgeous husband on his other side. Cas drops a kiss on the back of Alec’s neck, and he and Dean are both breathless when they part. 

“Good morning,” Dean says, smiling, almost shy like his tongue wasn’t in Alec’s mouth moments before. 

“Am I excluded from the kissing due to my bad behavior?” Cas says. “I’m repentant.” 

“You are not,” Dean says, laughing. “Don’t give in, Alec.” 

Alec takes a shaky breath and turns in their arms to face Cas, kisses him like he’s not afraid of what happens after. 

Cas makes a quiet noise of surprise and pulls Alec even closer to kiss him senseless. It’s not any less sweet than Dean’s kiss, but it sparks brighter, especially when Cas’s hand slides under his shirt and up his spine. 

“I don’t expect anything from you,” Cas says. “But I would have anything you wanted to give.” 

“Have you done this with any of the others?” 

_ “No,”  _ Dean and Cas say at the same time. 

“What would I give you?” Alec says, trying to keep his voice even. 

Cas licks his lips and Dean says quietly against Alec’s ear, “He wants to make you feel good.” 

Goosebumps scatter over Alec’s skin as Cas’s fingertips drift back down his back. Cas’s eyes are a blue clear sky and he says, “What do you like?” 

“You could fuck me,” Alec says. 

“I could. Do you want to?” 

Alec nods and kisses Cas again, whines when Cas slides a hand into his pants to pull him closer, enough that Alec can feel the hard line of his cock against his hip. Dean presses kisses along the side of Alec’s neck, hand sliding up Alec’s side under his shirt. 

Alec always feels a little overwhelmed in bed with them, but it’s usually quieter, not like he could vibrate out of his skin under two mouths trailing down his neck. Cas nips and Alec’s throat, and Dean murmurs, “Should I go?” 

Cas sits up on his elbow and Alec cranes his head backwards. “What? Why?” 

“Well, I’m definitely not doing the fucking part,” Dean says, rolling his eyes. 

Cas rolls his eyes back at Dean, only with more drama, which is the most  _ married  _ thing they’ve ever done and Alec can’t suppress a smile. 

Cas goes back to Alec’s bared neck, and Alec doesn’t have a single thought in his head. “You’re awfully clothed,” Cas says. 

Between the three of them and a lot of fumbling, Alec’s clothes end up on the floor and then Dean’s kissing him again, hands rough and warm on Alec’s skin. Cas tickles his fingers over Alec’s nipple, and Alec’s cock jumps. 

Cas takes Alec’s hand, kisses his knuckles. Alec breaks the kiss with Dean to stare at Cas nuzzling against this inside of his wrist. “Hands and knees for me, sweetheart,” Cas says quietly. 

Alec goes numb and repositions himself obediently when they move out of the way, head dropped between his shoulders and eyes shut tight. 

Stupid to hope Cas would look at him like he looks at Dean. Alec knows what he is. 

Cas moves behind him, runs his hands down Alec’s back while Alec holds his breath. Cas kisses the dip at the base of his spine. “Do you like rimming?” 

Alec has to swallow twice before he can respond. “Dunno.” 

“Would you like to find out?” 

“Sure, why not,” Alec says. 

Dean touches Alec’s chin, gently tilting his face up. Dean gives him a short kiss and says, “You ok?” 

Cas’s hands drop away. “Is something wrong?” 

“No, I’m cool,” Alec says, watching Dean’s half of a silent conversation with Cas mostly involving frowns and eyebrows

“Turn over,” Dean says. 

Alec turns back over on his back and sighs in defeat, staring at the ceiling. Cas hovers over him, stroking his fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry,” Cas says. He kisses Alec’s forehead, then the tip of his nose. 

“Obviously we’re not doing something you’re not one hundred percent in to,” Dean says, squeezing Alec’s hip and offering him a smile. 

“I’m sorry,” Cas repeats. “I really thought you wanted to. Shit.” 

“I did,” Alec says. “I do.” 

“I was going to make you look at me when I fucked you,” Cas says. “I just wanted to see if I could make you beg first.” 

Alec’s blood roars and he stops breathing again for a different reason. “Oh. Well. Ok.” 

Dean laughs and kisses the corner of Alec’s mouth. “You’re amazing,” he says, not even being sarcastic, and Alec turns his head for the next kiss to land true. 

“Ok, yeah,” Alec says when Dean finally lets him free again. Alec nudges Cas and Dean away from him and goes back on his knees, blushing. 

“Tell me if you’re not enjoying it,” Cas says, and then moves around so he can squeeze and spread Alec’s ass. 

Alec tenses when he feels Cas’s breath and shivers when he feels Cas’s tongue, just the wet tip of it. Alec hates teasing, generally, but he’s biting his lip and buzzing with anticipation by the time Cas finally —  _ finally  _ — gives him a slow, long lick. 

“Fuck,” Alec gasps, arms going weak so he collapses into his shoulders, face hidden in the pillows.

“Let me see your face,” Dean says. Alec turns his head to the side, still biting his lip, and lets his eyes flutter closed as Dean kisses his temple, his cheek, his jaw. “You like that?” 

Cas moans, and Alec can feel his cock throbbing and dripping in response. 

“Seems like it,” Dean says, wrapping his hand around Alec and stroking. 

“Holy fuck, I’m going to c—” Cas and Dean pull away, no contact except Cas’s hands on Alec’s flanks. “Fuck, are you kidding?!” 

Dean and Cas laugh — that mirror thing again — and Cas tugs at Alec’s hips.”I want to kiss you.” 

It’s Dean that kisses Alec first when he flips onto his back, so Cas goes to his nipple instead with tongue and teeth, hands cradling his hips. “You’re gorgeous,” Dean says with a soft smile, and Alec is flying too high on their touch to laugh. 

Cas laughs, though, and then all three of are giggling, which is almost as strange during sex as Dean’s careful kisses, almost as instantly addicting. 

“You’re ridiculous,” Cas says, grabbing Dean by the neck to kiss him. 

Alec mostly looks away when Dean and Cas touch — at least outside of the surreal dream of being safe and warm in their bed at night — but he stares now. They kiss so easily, so full of love, like they’ve perfected it over thousands and thousands of kisses. 

“You’re being very patient,” Cas says to Alec, leaning to brush his lips over his forehead.

Alec tries for bluster but is probably blushing. “Is it gonna be worth the wait?” 

“Lower your expectations,” Cas says. “I’m out of practice.” 

“I’ve, um, only been fucked a couple times. You should lower yours too.” 

Cas gives Alec a smile and a quick kiss, rummaging around in the nightstand drawer without looking. Alec watches while he tears open the condom and says, “What do you have condoms for?” 

“Ah,” Cas says, flushing and dodging Alec’s eyes. “Just in case.” 

“In case  _ you,”  _ Dean says. 

Cas pretends like he doesn’t hear as he pushes Alec’s thighs wider, spreading slick around his hole with cool fingertips, then replacing them with his cock. 

Alec squeezes Dean’s hand — he’s not entirely sure how they ended up with fingers woven together — and gasps when the head of Cas’s cock settles inside him. Cas kisses Alec the same way he kisses Dean, like it’s his favorite thing to do. 

“Christ, you feel good,” Cas says in between kisses, sinking in deep.

“Fuck,” Alec whispers, heart pounding, not entirely sure what to expect. 

What he gets is Cas fucking him steady and slow, sharing kisses with both of them, hoping. 

“Feels good?” Dean says, pressing a kiss to the round of Alec’s shoulder, like Alec didn’t give up on staying quiet almost immediately. 

“Oh god, fuck,” Alec says, head thrown back to offer Cas his throat. “A little — harder — fuck —” 

Alec didn’t know sex could be like this, decadent and warm, filthy when Cas wraps his hand around Alec’s dripping cock. “I was going to have you come in my mouth,” Cas says with a nip to Alec’s ear. “But you sound so pretty like this.”

Alec buries his hand in Cas’s hair to hold him close and comes with  _ Cas, Cas  _ on his lips. 

Cas’s kisses on Alec’s neck get sloppier and then pause, just the damp heat of his breath against Alec’s skin, when he comes.

Alec likes the way Cas pants afterwards, solid and heavy, and he likes the way Dean brings his hand up and kisses his knuckles, smiling. Cas falls to the side, fumbles off the condom, and pulls Alec close, nuzzling into his temple. 

It’s too hot with one of them on each side, Alec and Cas damp with sweat, but Alec can’t imagine leaving. 

“I’m sorry,” Dean says, grabbing a sheet to wipe Alec’s stomach and chest, “but jizz is kind of gross.” 

“It’s better when you get something fun out of it,” Alec says. 

“”Don’t get me wrong, I had fun,” Dean says, draping back over Alec and petting Cas’s hair. “Just not that kind of fun.” 

“Can you please be quiet?” Cas says. “We’re trying to bask in an afterglow.” 

“Sorry, baby,” Dean says. 

Alec listens to Cas’s breath evening out against his ear, feels the soft kisses Dean leaves aimlessly along the side of his face. It’s so peaceful and he holds his breath to try to keep from ruining it. 

“Dean should make us breakfast,” Cas mumbles. 

Dean pouts, ridiculously exaggerated and ridiculously adorable. “I’m really overworked by you assholes.” 

“Yeah, but we’re cute,” Alec says. 

“Unfortunately.” Dean heaves himself out of bed with a dramatic groan. “Shower’s mine.” 


	3. A NEW SCRIPT (EPILOGUE)

Charlie doesn’t seem surprised the first time she sees Cas and Alec kiss. Maybe even less surprised than Alec is, even after this many times. 

Alec is surprised to come home to hugs and smiles after an endless shift, to wake up in Dean’s lap at the tail end of a movie marathon, to look at a picture Dean took of him and Cas, touching and joyful. 

Alec learns to cook and play Catan and clean a litter box and gets in stoned arguments with Dean about Richard Matheson and regularly trounces Cas in digital chess games and, eventually, after a long, long time, stops waiting for things to go wrong. 

**Author's Note:**

> [reallyelegantsharkfish on tumblr,](http://reallyelegantsharkfish.tumblr.com) [sharkfish on pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/sharkfish)
> 
> _Disaster_
> 
> _Is an evening when you're so hungry every apple core_   
>  _Evokes grocery stores. Being the only one and only,_   
>  _They can't clone or disown you. The only thing you lack is your_   
>  _Adult teeth, beneath the rotten teeth of what makes you lonely._
> 
>  
> 
> ([joshua edwards, dissimilations](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/146918/dissimilations))


End file.
